Back in England

Bye bye school...

Well I can definitely say I didnt expect to be blogging from home in England on the 28th of July! Alot earlier than expected! It all happened so fast really, one minute I was settled in Honduras, a bit bored for the curfew but nevertheless enjoying myself, and the next I am back to cold gloomy weather, fillets of meat and smooth road surfaces. Its a very strange feeling. I have two completely different lives now and to think that I can swap between them in just 14 hours is too much for my mind to take in!

I made the decision to come home after a series of conversations between my parents, Carlota and my security dude who works for the same company as my dad but in Honduras. They were all fairly worried about me being out there due to the current political situation. Not because I was in danger at the time, things are still going on more or less as normal - in actual fact normal in Honduras is still dangerous if im honest, but no its because of what might happen and the small possibility of a civil war. Neither side appears to be backing down so something has got to happen right?

I feel quite sad at leaving alot of people I love in Honduras particularly Carlota, and I kind of feel like I let myself down by giving up early. At the end of the day it was me who made the decision I wasn't forced to leave. But I already had flights to go back on the 12th of September after the wedding so I dont lose anything by going back on this date and finishing my year returning late December. So as long as the political situation is more stable and as long as I feel I am emotionally strong enough to go back (after living in England for one and a half months its going to be difficult) that is what I intend to do. ICYE have said that if I return to finish as planned they will still count it as a year because my leaving was only 'temporary' and I had good reason to leave. So im happy with that.

Although the whole situation is very very weird and I still dont know what to do with myself here everything feels wrong, I am very happy to be back with my parents, boyfriend, friends and family. Now I can even go to another wedding, one of best friends too, which I was going to miss so I am really excited this is now possible. As much as I tried to tell myself its more important to be there for the whole marriage rather than the one wedding day, I have to admit I wasn't convinced. Plus Dave is coming too so its even better!

My last few days in Honduras were very action packed so I barely had to time to think about going home. Andres's grandad died, Mary in our house had to go to hospital and Mina downstairs fell over badly hurting her knee. It wasn't the best time to leave really as it meant Carlota had to rush around to help them and take me to places to organise everything for going home. It was really sad to say goodbye to the children at the school and unbelievably easy to my other project. Needless to say when I return in September, it makes sense to work in the school full time until the end. It will be more helpful to them and more fun to me. Its weird because its not the reason I chose to go to Honduras in the first place, however it means I have changed as a person and gained experiences I would never have got from staying in England. The only bad side is that I'm still nowhere closer to figuring out what I want to do when I return for good, in fact I think I now have more options than before! I guess this is actually good because I know graduate jobs are in short supply at the moment :-(

So for now I will continue speaking English and make the most of the time that I have here. I'm sure I will be back in Honduras before I know it and regretting that I didn't do this or do that or eat enough Cadbury's Dairy Milk etc...